Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Book-A-Minute Classics

I'm probably the last person in the universe to know about these, but some of the Book-A-Minute Classics are pretty funny:

Italo Calvino's If On a Winter's Night a Traveler:

You think you're reading a condensation of If On a Winter's Night a Traveler, but you're not.


William Golding's The Lord of the Flies:

(Some BOYS crash on an ISLAND.)
Ralph:We need a fire.
(They make a fire. It goes out.)
Ralph:We need a fire.
(They make a fire. It goes out.)
Ralph:We need a fire.
Jack:Forget the fire. Let's kill each other.
Other Boys:Yeah!
(They do.)
THE END


Mary Shelley's Frankenstein:

Walton:Dear Margaret: My ship picked up this guy. He RULES.
Frankenstein:I discovered the secret of life, and everyone died. (dies)
Frankenstein's Monster:Inexplicably, I have become suicidal. (jumps out a window)
THE END


And everyone's favorite:

Don Quixote: Chivalry demands I destroy that evil thing.
Sancho Panza: No, master. It is something ordinary and harmless.
Don Quixote (falls down)
THE END

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