I don't watch football and I've yet to see "Desperate Housewives" (and yes, I missed the Janet Jackson hoohah, too), but I love me some Jon Carroll:

"So the message is: It's OK to get an erection from a drug, but it's not OK to get an erection from a naked woman? Am I missing something? Could it have anything to do with the fact that Sheridan is a white actress and Owens is a black football player? Or maybe it's because women's sexuality is alarming while men's sexuality is, I dunno, cute. Or maybe sexy models in swimming pools selling beer is OK because it's in the service of commerce, and we all understand about the competitive global marketplace. Keep the jobs home; take off your clothes!

"And why is football considered to be such a wholesome entertainment? It routinely features concussions, broken bones, uncontrolled rage, cheap shots and sucker punches. This is hearty entertainment for the children, but a woman in a bath towel is the devil's instrument.

"A lot of people say this has something to do with the Bible, but I went to Sunday school and I do not recall any passages about bath towels. I do recall that we were supposed to go forth and multiply (which did not mean "go forth and do arithmetic"), and I recall that the peacemakers were blessed. There is some stuff about killing your wife if she offends the fatted calf (I probably have that wrong), but I believe those parts of the patriarchal desert culture have been rejected by modern Christianity, even by fundamentalists who take the Bible literally except when they don't. "